How to reframe negative thoughts is a very important skill to learn if you want to keep a positive mindset. These thoughts are common everyday thoughts. I have listed my top 5 below and given ideas of how to reframe them.
1. I’m too old/ its Too late:
In a previous blog post, I did talk about the fact that dreams too not expire. Looking at a couple of examples like the 58 year old, who won a gold at the olympics after a career beset by injury and disappointment. What about Colonel Sanders, and the KFC brand? He was in his late 50s before it finally took off. Clearly, if you do not try, and this is true of any age, you will not achieve your goals. Break down the shackles of age, who says you should do what at what age? In the end you are in control of your life and dreams, therefore it is up to you. Reframe: I am able, and I will give this a go. You will surprise yourself.
2. I’m Not Good enough
All men are created equal. Yes we are different, with different talents, but equal nonetheless. The main reasons people believe they are not good enough are low self esteem and / or comparing themselves to others. Learning not to do this will take time and practice, but it can be done. When you start working towards what you want, and start seeing progress, you will eventually begin to feel better about yourself. One thing I have learnt, is to be accepting of who and where you are. If you were to truly look at all your good qualities you will be amazed at what you will see. Try writing them down on a piece of paper. Reframe: I am good enough and I am equal to the task.
3. What will People Think
To be honest, we all have people around us, who may not be a 100% aligned with our desires. This could stem from many reasons which quite frankly are none of your business. Yes you read it correctly what other people think of you is none of your business. Ok that is putting it a bit harshly, but does not make it any less true though. You would do well to remember that opinion is not fact. Your opinion of you is what matters.
My all time favourite sportswoman so far is Serena Williams. What a lady! Whenever she wins a tournament, or loses for that matter, the amount of vitriol that gets printed on Social media, is absolutely incredible. Imagine if she took that on board? Ellen DeGeneres is another who gets a lot of nasty comments. There is no rhyme or reason to this behaviour, its what I refer to as armchair envy.
In his book, The four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz explains how we are all the star of our own movie, and we give parts of that movie to whom we choose. When you love yourself you will understand that your life is determined by you, you will quickly learn that in actuality what other people think is of little relevance. Do not give your power and dreams to other people. Reframe: Other people’s opinions of me do not matter.
4. I Can’t Do it
This is the biggest excuse going. There is an antidote for just about every reason why – do you need a new skill? Go get the skill! Don’t know how go and do some research, start with google you will be amazed at what google knows.
To be honest, this is an attitude matter. An attitude is something you adopt, choose to be proactive, you choose to have a positive can do attitude. Reframe: I can do it, and I can learn what I need to know
5. I am going to/ I will fail
This is a big one, and where we have been conditioned to think that failure is a bad thing it has become like a noose around our neck. I saw this quote from Oprah Winfrey the other day
Failure is life’s way of directing us to a better path
All successful people have failed, don’t be fooled by the glamour we see all around us, those people have been working their dream for a long time. We have X-Factor and Pop idol to blame for a lot of this desire for instant glory. Failure and success are part of the same coin, and in my opinion are subjective
When things do not go according to plan, that could be failure or just a challenge, either way there are lessons to be learnt. You would do well to learn the lessons, get up, dust yourself off and go again. Reframe: If I fall I will get up again.
I hope that you have found some value in this post, if you have please do share with your friends, do feel free to join me here.
Whatever you are doing, do be kind to yourself and have a nice day.